Rowan's fear
by CSMichaelis
Summary: complete Little Rowan had a difficult infancy. His life is full of fears and doubts, the one thing he can always count on is when this are at their darkest, His family will be there...always.


Rowan walked down the hallway dragging his favorite toy behind him. The second floor was silent, he looked in each room hoping to find his siblings. It wasn't like them to leave him without a word,they always did everything together.

The young demon sighed, he was alone.

"Brothers,sister?" He called out tightening his grip on his bear.

"They have to be downstairs Lovey, come on we can find them."Rowan traveled down the steps and soon heard his brothers laughing.

"We best be off Ciel, have you got everything?" Sebastian asked. Rowan tilted his head curiously and moved closer. Ciel was placing Angelina and Kathryn in their stroller.

"Mum,Dad?" Rowan called causing Ciel to look at him briefly before turning to his mate.

"It's awake, I told you we should've gone sooner." He said coldly.

"Yes, however you were the one that had to bring extra everything and that takes extra time." Sebastian replied.

"we have two babies, we have to, we wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't brought it hear in the first place."

"You agreed to it."

"What was I supposed to say, Ann was -"

"Mum, what do you mean?" Ciel turned to him.

"I'm not your mother, you don't belong here and it's time you understand that." Rowan's heart was breaking and he could hardly believe the words coming from Ciel.

"But, you said I am your baby Rowan,you gave me a promise." He said as tears filled his eyes.

"That's right, we did." Ciel held out his hand."Give me the chain." He demanded.

"But, y-you s-said that I would always be your baby and not to -"

"I know what I said, how would it have looked if we left you out in front of your grandparents and on that note, if Sebastian had done so,as future king,that wouldn't look right at all. Give it to me." Rowan hesitated but did as he was told as the tears fell from his eyes.

"Why Mum, why are you being so mean?"

"Stop calling me that,you're not my son, you never were."

Rowan turned to the other three children.

"B-Brothers, S-Sister, you still want me right?"

"No, we are tired of you and you are not our brother, you did not live in mommy's tummy like we did, that means you are not mommy's baby." Rachel said turning away from him.

"Sister Rachel is right, You did not grow inside my mommy,you cannot be our brother. We do not love you." Vincent said joining his twin who now stood with Ciel.

"Mama only let you stay because Grandmother said did not ever want you,we never will and we are going away but you are not allowed to come. I know things,it is true." Evian too walked away. Rowan sniffled sadly, he held Lovey close to him,the tears fell freely onto the bear's head.

"N-No one loves us Lovey,I'm so sad. You're all I have now." He sobbed quietly.

"That's right,no one loves you and no one ever will,who could want something like you,you'll never be a good demon, you're always questioning whether you're loved,worried about being bad, it's no mystery as to why you're family left you, why we're leaving you. You don't belong with us and you don't deserve to have us." Rowan watched his family disappear from view and little Rowan was once again alone. His heart was hurting as he dropped to his knees.

"D-Don't worry L-Lovey, w-We st-still have each other. It hurts lots, I know but we'll be okay,I still love you." He began to rock himself holding ever tighter to his toy.

"Rowan!" The familiar voice cried from somewhere in the darkness. The young demon lifted his head and looked around,he found nothing but darkness.

"Rowan." The voice called again,Rowan couldn't calm himself enough to answer.

"Rowan,come now, you're frightening us." This time the voice belonged to his father and Rowan felt something grab him and castle began to shake around him causing him to fall into darkness.

Rowan opened his eyes to find Sebastian kneeling beside his bed, his eyes showed signs of his worry. Behind Sebastian Rowan could see Lizzy and Alois standing on either side of Ciel who was shaking.

"It's alright Ciel,He'll be okay. Maybe he's just having a really hard time with -"

"It would wake him up though wouldn't it, not make it so he can't." Rowan still felt the pain in his heart as he sat up. Instantly he was aware of tears filling his eyes as he burst into tears catching Ciel's attention. Ciel rushed past his mate and wrapped his arms around the sobbing child. Rowan could feel Ciel trembling.

"M-Mum!" He cried out holding on tightly to his mother.

"I've got you Rowan, I'm right here." Ciel soothed rubbing his back comfortingly. Seconds later, Sebastian joined the hug.

"Are you alright Rowan?" The little demon nodded against his mother's shoulder.

"I-I had a very bad and unhappy dream. I was by myself up here and Lovey was here but I went down stairs and you said you didn't want me or love me and my brothers and sister didn't want me and you took the promise away and I was not your baby!"Ciel held him tight.

"Rowan,we wouldn't ever do something like that. You are my baby and your father and I will always be here and we'll always love you."Ciel told him.

"They said I didn't live inside your tummy so I can't be their brother and I can't be your baby."

"It was a dream,that's all. Your brothers and sisters love you very much." Sebastian said stroking the boy's black hair affectionately.

"I need cuddles." Rowan sniffled. "Cuddles from my mum and dad."

"You shall have it Rowan,any time you need comfort or care this is why we're here my son."

"You won't take your promise away from me?"

"Good parents don't do that,we'll make mistakes Rowan,we're not perfect,but one thing that we're not going to do is stop being your family.

"I want to be wanted."

"You are. The reason we make sure your safe and have good things and feed you is because we love you very much.' Sebastian replied.

There was a long moment in which Alois and Elizabeth watched Ciel holding his youngest son and Sebastian wrapped his arms around them both. When Rowan and Ciel had calmed down,the little demon looked into his mother's eyes.

"Mum?" He said softly.

"what Rowan?"

"Why were you so afraid?"

"Because I was calling you and you didn't react at all the except for crying in your sleep and I couldn't wake you up."

"Don't worry Mum, I love you."

"I love you too, it's late though and you need your sleep."

"Can Lovey and me sleep in your bed with you and dad?" He pleaded.

"Under the circumstances, I think it's for the best, for both you and your mother. That way he knows you're alright and you have some comfort. " Sebastian said before Ciel could reply.

"Can I have hugs until I go to sleep?"

"Of course."

Mum, can I have a snack, I am a little hungry."

"Let's get you to bed and once you're both settled in, I'll bring you something." Sebastian kissed them both and stood up. When Ciel also rose to his feet releasing the child, Rowan frowned and fresh tears began to fall. He lifted his arms to his mother.

Ciel didn't have the heart to refuse. He lifted Rowan into his arms and the boy immediately rested his head on Ciel's shoulder.

"That's so adorable!" Lizzy squealed, Rowan giggled.

"You're funny Cousin Lizzy. You are funny too Alois, thank you for helping Mum feel better."

"We did our best. Your parents do love you very much." Alois said.

"Mum and dad are my favorite ones. They love me and I don't have to go away?"

"Never. I'd never send any of my children away." Ciel promised. As they left the room,Sebastian carefully picked up the bear knowing how precious it was to Rowan. The walked down the hall to Ciel and Sebastian's room where Rowan was placed in the middle and Ciel laid down on his side of the bed. Rowan moved closer to lay in his mother's arms.

"Mum, I'm happy that you won't take your promise away, I would cry forever."

"I'm happy to be your mother Rowan,you're wanted and we'll always take care of you." Before long, Sebastian had returned and after a small snack provided by his mother, which in Rowan's opinion was the best kind, he laid back down and Sebastian lowered himself onto his side of the bed pulling the cover over his mate and son. He knew Ciel would have trouble sleeping tonight and reached over to stroke his hair.

"It's going to be alright my love." He whispered.

"He shouldn't have to feel like this, no one should." The sadness had returned to Ciel's voice.

"I agree, however you are a wonderful mother and in time, he will understand. In the meantime, you're doing the right thing Ciel. You're assurance is of the utmost importance, to a child as young as Rowan, it makes all the difference."

"I don't know if it'll ever be enough. My poor little Rowan's been through so much."

"But he doesn't have to 's here with us. I believe in your ability to make this easier for him until it no longer haunts him. Your maternal instinct is very strong,you will know what to do."

"I hope you're right deserves this chance to feel like he belongs somewhere."

"it all starts with the mother Ciel and you're doing everything possible,this is not your fault."Sebastian soothed. Ciel looked at the child sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"I don't know if -"

"He came to us obviously feeling unhappy, he was not like our other three who were curious about the world around them. He knew he wasn't loved by them. You changed that. He smiles and laughs, he knows how to love, he got that from you. I'm very proud of you Ciel,you used your past to better our children's future,you allowed yourself to learn from it in order to give them what you weren't able to have instead of thinking that since you didn't have it and survived,they can."

"I don't want them to feel that pain,I love them too much." Sebastian smiled.

"Exactly,your parents were unable to comfort you,to hold you when you cried and tell you it would be alright. You used that to be that way for our children. No one can comfort a child like a mother. You know just what to do." An hour passed before Ciel fell asleep with Sebastian running his long fingers through his hair. He glanced at Rowan,the boy was smiling in his sleep now. Sebastian hoped that the nightmare which had plagued his youngest son would finally be over for good.


End file.
